Wednesday, April 14, 2010

but probably she don't...probably she don't...

you may not recall but i wrote a blurb about scott pilgrim a while back and shortly afterward heard they were developing it into a movie. i was ecstatic. really. i loved these books and now some brave genius was going to turn them into a live action film. sweet.

then they cast this douche bag. there's no point in even pretending i like him. michael cera is what's wrong with acting these days although it's not entirely his fault. he has a long line of douche bag actors footsteps to follow in like tom cruise, john travolta and al pacino to name a few that are really just hacks that play themselves or caracitures of themselves. it will be argued that sometimes one of these folks pull an interesting performance out of their ass but the law of averages states that if you keep trying something, eventually you will do a brilliant job, you just might not live long enough to get to that random convergence of probabilities, but the point is that cera is a pussy and plays nothing but pussies. why he keeps speaking like a four year old girl after being scolded in the trailer is beyond me but he does and the film will suffer immensely because of it.

my point is, i'm going to hate this movie. i accept that in advance because i have never liked a film with actors in it that i would rather see vanish without a trace. my friends tell me, "just watch it. it's better than you think." and i always tell them the same thing, "no it's not. (insert actor's name here) is annoying and painful to watch. that's more than enough reason to not like it." then we watch it. then i tell them i hated it and why. would you go see a live band play that was fronted by someone you thought couldn't sing or play their instrument? well you would if you're a lou reed fan but otherwise no.

in summation there are exactly two reasons why i am going to see this film first, my friend ker hewitt (no that's not him in the screen cap at the top) is in it and second, aubrey plaza whom i do not know but would love to change that situation. i can't help it. i'm all about seemingly neurotic thin brunettes.

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